ON BOTH THE SHORES

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While it is a great feeling to be in love, it is also a nice feeling to love someone. You might not have a precise answer as to what made you fall for that person or when exactly did you fall for them, but you must have felt this surreal feeling of being in love with someone at least once. That increased heartbeat on sensing them around, that ear-to-ear smile that automatically lights up your face on their mere mention, those crazy, cheesy
statues that were posted, just for them.

After having loved so many people in my life, I had grown up ‘to give’ love. I was so used to falling for people, putting efforts for them, making them feeling special, going out of the way to surprise them that I’d forgotten how it feels to be loved.
After a series of unrequited love, I had given up on the fact that the tables could be turned and someone would fall for me. Consider it utter hopelessness or sheer pessimism, I believe that the conclusion that I am not worthy of being loved was drawn from the acceptance that maybe, I am just meant to love and not get it back. It hurt in
the beginning but as and when, the frequency of unrequited love increased, I realized that it is a nice feeling to love someone, to make them feel special. After all, aren’t we all hurt and we all want to be loved?

It is fine if someone isn’t ready to do all that I’ve done for people. I can’t forget the fact that I’m blessed with such a loving and caring family and friends who accept me for what and how I am. That itself, is a sign that shows their love.

However, there was this one time when the thing that I had been unconsciously praying for, happened, when someone confessed that they have fallen for me, head over heels. In the beginning, I didn’t realize the gravity of the situation and it was only after I was pampered, was showered with love, was shown efforts to make me feel special, I realized how serious it was and the first feeling that I felt was: it was overwhelming.

For the first time, I felt how it feels to be loved, to be the cause of someone’s happiness, to understand how fortunate they feel to have you in their life, to realize how important you are for them, to be known in their friend circle, to know that they blush when they mention you. Trust me, it is an elated feeling to be loved, to be the one on the receiving end.
The debate whether being in love or being loved is greater, is something I’d never participate in, because both of them are great spaces to be in. Both of them are feelings which make you feel on top of the world.

If love is a stream, then being in love and being loved are its two sides and I’m glad to be on both the shores.

-Rashmeet kaur

 

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