“When you heal, you don’t just force the hurt aside. Pain is actually a welcome feeling because it means that you have not closed yourself off to life. You need to learn how to embrace it as your companion, for a little while. Allow it to coexist with you for the time being; don’t use it to mark when your life ended, but where it began again. If I could, my friend, I would take away this pain. But even if I held my arms out as wide as possible, I could never capture all the hurt.”
-Everyone has a story 2, Savi Sharma.
The 21st century has tried to analyze, understand and practice this word in many ways, and especially since the pandemic forced us to get locked in our tiny bubbles, giving us time to not just observe what was within but also try to sort it all out. In my opinion, Healing is a present, a gift, we all unlock in our unique ways! And with reading of this article, our unlocking begins… happy reading!
I am a novice myself but by sharing with each other the bits and pieces of what has worked out for us, we can probably do wonders.
Saying we are not hurt ever in our lives, would sound a little unreal, would be something like, a writer has never written or a singer has never sung…
Because this universe does not always work according to our will. Getting hurt, feeling disheartened, sometimes, due to situations, sometimes due to people, is as normal as the rising of the sun every morning.
How we deal with that hurt, is where the question lies which ultimately leads us to the answer of a worthy life!
Recall the analogy of Mice and Cat. Mice close its eyes on the sight of the cat, hoping that the cat would simply go away. Perhaps, closing the eyes, ignoring the issue, might solve it for some moments, but what if the cat gets it into clutches?
However, instead, if mice, in lieu of closing eyes, use that effort and time, in accepting the situation and finding a way out, the possibility of him saving his life increases.
In the very same way, instead of finding an escape, by distracting ourselves in one or the other way, if we try to closely look into the issue, and try to solve it, the possibility of it getting solved increases.
Undoubtedly, it takes effort, but that is the price we all have to pay, to make sure we are not merely existing but actually living and making a difference, not just for ourselves but for everyone around us.
We think our feelings are complicated and complex, but probably, it is our resistance to those feelings that make it complicated.
‘Denial leads us to Destruction while Acceptance leads us to Accomplishment.’
Let us together take a moment and realize how accurate the author is, when she says, Healing never meant pushing away or suppressing the hurt to the contrary, embracing it and accepting it. It might sound ironic, but that is how our lives are, ironic, that is how the universe works ironically!
This is exactly how we treat any wound on our body, isn’t it? To begin with, we address it, instead of neglecting it, we give it proper treatment and most importantly the required time to heal. Ask yourself, why take escapes when the same is the case with emotional wounds..?
Yes, I know, it is easier said than done and only the wearer knows, where the shoe hits, but if the hurt gives us a reason to sob, it also provides us with an assurance that we still care and that we are still alive, because, walking on a straight path with no one by our side, with no destination to look up to, is not the trip we would anyways select.
And as they say, Accepting is the first step followed by understanding and then by improvement. We don’t need to embrace it for the sake of imbibing it, but because embracing keeps us from denial, and ultimately leads us to heal.
Because no matter how much our loved ones try to soothe us, they can’t… and as it is said, relations can be complementary but the journey challenges the individual to walk, fall, get up and walk, all over again.
I don’t mean to say that having someone by your side is not a blessing, of course, it is. Street lights at night can help us direct our journey in the right direction, but walking and accomplishing that journey is something only we can do.
Testing times are actually the inception of Healing… it might never feel like that, but those are the times when we actually start being strong, actually start trusting the strength within us…
It is a process and not a program, a complex process to be very frank, and we all know that because people outside have no idea of what we are going through internally, so they are not bound to respond to us in the kindest way.
Sometimes, you cross a mountain but find it difficult to cross a stumble, let no one tell you otherwise, it is your journey, and that’s okay to walk at your pace.
Healing is a gift we give to ourselves along with the world around us. Because it is healing that leads us to Empathy, and empathy is all the world needs.
Now that we made it here together, wishing headstrong healing to you!
Read Smell of Books Part 1 here.
Real Smell of Books Part 2 here.